A Heart Made Fullmetal
by iheartgeekz
Summary: Set in the immediate aftermath of the Promised Day. Ed goes to visit Roy and Riza in the hospital. Royai.


"Hey," Edward Elric stood in the doorway, pale and exhausted, but recovering from his fight with Father. As soon as he was cleared to get out of bed, he made it a point to visit the others to see how they were doing. He had to wait until the middle of the night to slip away unnoticed. Technically speaking, he wasn't supposed to be up and about on his own yet. His first stop, aside from Alphonse who was sharing his room, was Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye.

"Hello, Fullmetal," Roy responded, turning his head toward the voice even though he couldn't see the boy standing there. "They let you out of bed?"

"Yeah," he knew Roy could tell he was lying but since he didn't explicitly say that he had to go back to his room, Ed decided to stick around and grab a seat, "I still have to stay in the hospital for a couple days though. Al might be here a little longer than that. He's so skinny. He also needs to get near some nail clippers." It occurred to Ed that Roy had not yet seen Al's human body. "He has long blonde hair like mine that needs a comb like there's no tomorrow. He looks a lot like me but he took more after our mom. He's got her soft face, but I look more like my dad."

Ed had finally decided that looking like his old man wasn't the worst thing in the world. Despite the friction between them caused by him leaving the family, Hoenheim was still willing to offer up his life to save his son. He still loved his family above all else.

"I'll have to go see him soon," Roy smiled, "So which one of you is taller?"

"I am, but I doubt that will last long," Ed laughed, "He's going to grow like a weed once we get some food in him. How are you and the lieutenant?" The colonel looked like he was already anxious to get up and leave. Hawkeye however was a little worse for wear. She was sleeping in the bed next to Roy's, recovering from her ordeal. Last he'd heard, she was supposed to make a full recovery but would be staying in the hospital for at least a week. He had a feeling by tomorrow she'd be going stir crazy.

"I'm fine, just still adjusting," Roy insisted, turning his head toward the other bed, "She'll be okay, or so they tell me. I just wish I could see for myself."

"The last thing you saw was the Truth," Ed could still picture its grinning face, "That must be rough."

"I suppose," Roy mused, "However I should be grateful that I saw it. Otherwise the last thing I would have seen was my subordinate covered in her own blood." He absently picked at the bandages on his hands, still feeling the cold steel of Bradley's blades between the bones.

He could still picture her lying there, far too still, with her hand clasped over her throat, trying to stop the flow that gushed with each beat of her heart. The crimson pool around her kept growing, threatening to wash away the array beneath her. Looking into her eyes, he could see the threat, urging him not to perform human transmutation for her sake if he wanted to live. While her life was rapidly ticking away, she still cared for him. She still kept him on the straight and narrow path he had chosen.

"So, you opened the portal, but she never died," Ed clarified, "You can't bring someone back from the dead. If she was gone and you tried to bring her back, it would have failed. You'd get something back, but it wouldn't be her."

Roy nodded, knowing that all too well. He had seen what the Elrics had created in the basement, and there was nothing human about it. "Bradley forced my hand, I didn't choose to perform the transmutation. Not on anyone in particular. The Truth doesn't care, either way you pay the price."

"No one said the Truth was fair." Ed sighed, "Don't beat yourself up. Even if they hadn't been able to force you, they would have forced someone else. Marcoh, Major Armstrong, the military has no shortage of dogs. You refused to do it to save her and they made you, so then why is she still alive?" As relieved as he was that Hawkeye was alright, he was surprised to see her on her feet still fighting after learning what had happened.

"You have May to thank for that, she used alkehestry to seal the wound," Roy recalled seeing his subordinate wince as she regained consciousness. For the first time, he was grateful to see her in pain. Feeling pain meant you still had some life in you, "I thought for sure she was too far gone."

"Do you think it could work for your eyes?"

"Possibly, I've already decided I am not going to use the stone."

"What? Why?" Ed was surprised to say the least, "Dr. Marcoh has a stone, he can heal your eyes. You can get your sight back."

"I know I can," Roy tried to help the younger man understand, "If Havoc chooses to use the stone to restore his legs, that's his choice. I've made mine. I took countless lives in the war. If you ask the lieutenant, she knows how many she took because she watched every one of them. I can't even imagine. I don't know if it was hundreds or thousands. I have no right to use their souls."

Ed nodded in understanding, "There might be another way."

"Equivalent exchange says otherwise," Roy countered, "I paid the price when I opened the door, willing or not."

"Equivalent exchange works both ways," Ed shook his head, "Alphonse is proof of that."

Ed's hand drifted down to a recently healed scar on his hip, looking down at it as he remembered its source, "I got impaled. I fell down a couple of stories, came down hard on a piece of iron and it went through my side like a hot knife through butter. I knew I'd start bleeding out as soon as it came out, and I couldn't get to a doctor either. The energy of philosopher's stones comes from human souls, you know that. Well, guess what? You've got a soul. I used up some of my life to heal this wound. It probably took a few years off my life, but here I am."

Roy sat in shock, taking in the boy's words. For someone so young he had endured countless horrors most adults would never see in a lifetime. He met every challenge bravely. Sometimes stupidly, but always bravely.

"You think I could do the same for my eyes, using my life energy instead of the ones trapped in the stone." It wasn't a question.

"It's possible is all I'm saying," Ed told him, "I can't tell you whether or not it's right. Lots of people go through life blind. Not a lot of them are leading a country though."

"I won't be leading this country," Roy stated dismissively, "The word is that General Grumman will replace Fuhrer Bradley."

"And what about when he needs someone to replace him? Jeez, you live for instant gratification, don't you?"

Ed regretted what he said immediately. That wasn't fair. If anything, Roy Mustang was one of the most patient people he'd ever met. Careful, methodical, and not to be underestimated. Before Ed had taken his exam, Roy Mustang had been the youngest State Alchemist. Ed had no idea, but Lieutenant Hawkeye had confided this to him in secret. He had expected Roy to be jealous, but he was proud, so proud of what he had accomplished.

"That's not fair," Ed sighed, "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Roy said simply.

Roy jumped slightly and turned his head toward the window at the sound of his lieutenant rolling over in her sleep. Once she was finally asleep, she slept deeply. Her long blonde hair had been washed free of blood, shining like gold in the moonlight. It pained him that he couldn't see any of it. He could hear her breathing, slow and deep as she relaxed. Her soft sighs as she dreamed. Although masked by the smell of hospital disinfectants, he could still make out the smell of gunpowder and sandalwood, a combination that would always be uniquely hers.

"You love her, don't you?" Ed asked, already having a feeling he knew the answer.

Although blind, Roy never took his eyes off his subordinate. "I think I do."

"Bull, there's no thinking you love someone. You either do or you don't. If you think you do, you do, you just don't wanna admit it. You have for a while?"

"Since we were about your age, Fullmetal." Roy admitted, "She hated me at first. Saw me as just a cocky little bastard. "

"I wonder what made her think that…"

"I guess that's why her trust always meant so much to me." Roy said, ignoring Fullmetal's jab, "It wasn't given for nothing, it had to be earned. I've had a lot of crazy ideas and she's never been afraid to tell me so. When I told her that I planned to rise to the highest rank, to change the country from the top down, she never said I was crazy. She said she'd follow me into hell if I asked her to."

They certainly had been through hell together. He almost lost himself in the tunnels until she pulled him back, her promise to shoot him in the back if he strayed was no idle threat. He couldn't lose her, and yet he almost did. When she was lying on the ground, so silent, so still, he feared the worst. Until her death glare brought him back to reality. She was alive and still fighting, and needed him to fight with her. He couldn't have gone to fight without her. Those sharp eyes of hers had saved his life more than once. He could have asked someone else to be his eyes in the darkness, but he trusted no one else. The way they communicated so flawlessly with one another could not be replicated. It had taken him some time to learn to be the one to take commands rather than give them, but he trusted her. She would be the one to keep them safe.

"Ed? Shouldn't you be resting?" Hawkeye asked, her voice raspy from sleep, "You and your brother have been through a lot."

"Like you're one to talk," Ed reminded her, walking over to sit on the foot of her bed. He hadn't seen her injuries up close before. He'd seen her shoulder bleeding earlier from where Envy sliced her, but he'd only seen the wound on her neck from a distance. Thick gauze was packed tightly against her delicate throat, wrapped most of the way around her neck. It was amazing that those injuries were survivable. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she told him. It wasn't a complete lie, but now that she could give her body the rest it needed and the adrenaline had worn off, she felt like she'd been hit by a train. "Not that it would take much to be an improvement."

"You're not supposed to sit up yet," Roy reminded her, hearing the bed springs creak as she tried to prop herself up. He heard the bed adjust again as she eased herself back down. "Don't push it or they'll keep you longer."

"Yes sir," she smiled, wanting nothing more than to walk out of the hospital at his side.

Ed turned to them both, "I wanted to thank you. Both of you. Without your help, Father would have won. And I probably wouldn't have my brother back." He closed his eyes tightly, remembering everyone who watched his last transmutation, everyone who made it all possible. He could still hear their shouts of encouragement.

" _Kick his ass Ed!"_ The only time he could recall hearing Hawkeye, usually reserved and professional, swear. He hoped to see that side of her again.

" _Fullmetal!"_ Even before he had earned that name for himself, the colonel had seen potential in him and knew how to bring it out.

They both truly cared for him. They were some of the few people who knew the whole story. Ed and Al never feared judgement from them when they told the truth about what happened the night they tried to bring back their mother. Shocked, sure. But they somehow understood. They helped him get beyond it, something that seemed insurmountable at the time.

"You don't need to thank us," Hakweye insisted, "It's us who should be thanking you. You saved so many lives today, Ed. Not just ours, but those of an entire country."

"You did good today," Roy agreed.

Ed tried not to get choked up. He knew the colonel couldn't see it but he could tell by Hawkeye's soft smile that she could. Not that she would ever tell a soul. "I…I should go make sure Al is doing okay."


End file.
